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Retail Tale


Retail Tale

Black Friday. The day of glee for all retail bookkeepers but a day of hell for all retail workers. This year’s Black Friday was no different. The poor go-to sales dude for sanitation where I work had to clean a bathroom emergency. He didn’t know what he was in for, the manager just said, there was an incident. The poor guy, armed with disinfectant went into the men’s room expecting disaster, but not what the calamity he DID find.

Some asshole shat on the wall. No just projectile shitting, but smeared his feces, and the amount was considerable. Mr. Go-To was a good sport and attacked the “installation” best he could and went about his day pumping hand sanitizer on his palm to clear the ick from his person and hopefully his memory. Then there was a second incident, this time, in the women’s restroom. This time it was an unflushed commode full of shit. FILLED WITH INDIGESTION SHIT. Apparently, the stall ran out of toilet paper, so the copious pooper used the paper towels which clogged the commode. Indigestion on top of toilet clogging with only mild sanitation methods to resolve it. What a horribly dirty job! On top of that, poor Go-To guy really had no sanitized place to really disinfect himself. Public restrooms sinks are have luke warm water and filthy fixtures and the staff break room is a kitchen. That’s like breaking the house rule of using the kitchen sink to wash your hands after using the bathroom—on an epic scale! What goes into the body, kitchen, what goes out of the body bathroom. Not be inverted-EVER. Unfortunately, retail doesn’t have that luxury.

I tell this story to warn everyone to use retail bathrooms lightly. If you feel sick-STAY THE PHUCK HOME! If you have kids (usually little boys) who wait until the very last minute to use the bathroom, therefore they can’t hold their piss—leave ‘em at home! Send them to play day-after-Thanksgiving soccer-anything-but don’t torture retail workers! We’re not paid enough to slop up your shit. We’re in enough danger of infection handling money! Retailers only hire cleaning crews to clean bathrooms once a month. The rest is up to the sales staff who handle your merchandise and exchange money with you. Hygiene, good or bad, effects us all.

I had to educate poor Go-To sales guy of the existence of norovirus, which I hope he won’t contract. One thing is for sure, I’ll never sit in the break room again and will only show up for work 5 minutes before the clock in from now on. Heck, I may make a habit of finding something in the house to bleach upon returning home from work. Stay healthy everyone and watch what you eat before you venture out for an entire day!

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