A freewrite in progress.
The Trophy wives are Marin are neurotic, underweight, bitchy, leeches. They are everything that is said of Black women, but their husbands do not care: because they are BLONDE. I remember stopping for ice cream on a bike trip though Tiburon and seeing the yahoo club barbies. Some of them were clearly pushing 40 or 50 and were desperately trying to look 23. The friend I was wit turned to me and said, “They’re a different species to me”.
Sexual Selection is a cruel institution. Especially when it is a tenet of a patriarchal society where a woman is frowned upon for breeding out of wedlock. Women do have a choice in who they mate with, albeit only recently. So, since we are forced to live in a patriarchal society women finds themselve in service to men. To quote Gone With the Wind’s Margret Mitchell: “There are throngs of women who are in subserviant positions to their husbands and they have more sense then they do.”
Getting back to the predatory Woody Allen wives of Marin, I was in my friend’s restaurant in San Rafael and two Belvedere Betty’s were discussing their marriages. Or mores, how they wish they no longer had them. One wished she could just the kids and the house and not the husband. The other wanted neither the kids or the husbands and just wanted the house. Eve and Lilith. Either way, they don’t want their old husband Adam around. They would very much like to kick the every lonely ( read: horny) Adam out of the house and let him return to the pastures and chase the sheep just as he’d done before Lilith was forced to comply and Eve was fashioned from his rib.
This is how many women feel, so I really don’t have a problem with the conversation. I am more concerned about the mismatch of personalties in the marriage. These are probably women who feel that their husbands work too much. A husband that would be perfect for a workaholic woman, but then she would be a threat to him wouldn’t he? As Spencer Tracy’s character stated in Woman of the Year, “A man wants a wife he can love not have to compete with. Then when Kate Hepburn’s character gets the notion to run against her husband on the Democratic ticket for office, he conquers her in a passionate embrace exclaiming Vive la Difference. Sex is one way a man can dominate a strong woman, unless she’s Lilith…or Nami!
The darkest hour t of the Giermo miniseries is when Nami becomes a succubus while Giermo is inside of her. She freezes him through the urethra reminding him of the power of women, even those who lie below. Giermo’s suffering is similar to Uranus who lost his penis inside of his wife. One of my gay husband’s fear of a Liilth-Nami type woman is the fear of not getting his penis back once inserted. Good. I can’t think of very many women who love to take revenge on the men who wrong when they are the most vulnerable. Lilith and Gaia are two archetypes I wish Goddesses in Everywoman’s Jean Shinoda Bolen has covered. Since she hasn’t, I’ll be happy to continue her work in my comic. Nami and all of my characters were created years and years before I read Goddesses in Everywoman. In fact I had only discovered the book in time for the last issue of Superficial. Regardless, women still know each other and it’s easy to recognize the archetypes .
Nami’s considerable power is factor in Giermo’s aversion to taking her seriously, but the underlying fact is that no matter how powerful a minority is, a White male will always feel superior to her–even if she’s a goddess with more power and money than he’ll even have. I fashioned Giermo from an ex-boyfriend of mine who repented his crimes against me and gave me permission write a story about him in my comic. I took his permission and ran with it for I have painful material for several stories! However, at the end of the Giermo series I made sure that Giermo apologized to Nami in the sweet way that my ex did, by finding me after years of personal growth and apologizing with the added reward of stories. I loved my ex’s stories, that’s why I fell in love with him in the first place. Cute guys are a dime a dozen, but the fella you allow to conquer you has to be someone special. Nami felt that Giemo was something special and pursued him. What she didn’t realize of that she picked him up like a stray cat and expected loyalty. Love is not that easy. Yet, still, certain women have no trouble whatsoever achieving love at first sight from the men of their choice.
Another one of the men I used for Giermo mention that Giermo isn’t interested in Nami because she’s so powerful that he has no control over the relationship. Calming my temper and fighting the urge to decapitate the chronically depressed beach bum with one of his surfboards, I pondered the notion. Then quickly dismissed it once I remember the emasculating ex-girlfriend of the beach bum who he dearly missed. She was a bottled blonde who he strayed from the instant she dyed her tresses red ( which I think suited her fiery personality better). Some men just want blondes and that’s the reality. Everyone has sexual preference. I personally will only allow a Mediterranean to conquer me. What I take issue is another issue that my ex-beau and the beach bum will not admit, that is if they even know of the issue themselves, which is the practice of using women to advance in society.
We return to our dear friend Jean Shinoda Bolen and her book on vicious cycles: Ring of Power: Symbols of Love vs. Power in Wagner’s Ring Cycle and Us-A Jungian Feminist Perspective. Once again, Bolen’s writing and my personal experiences cross paths. Giermo has an inferiority complex—a BIG ONE. His father is missing from his life and his mother, Rio, holds the power. Although Rio did her best for her so, in education and raising a responsible adult, she forgot to raise him with a conscious. A negative side effect of pursuing a lucrative recording career which put food on the table, a roof over her son’s head and an education to secure his future. According to Bolen, this happens at lot to men who are born into society where success is the measure of man and they hurt a lot of people, for they forsake love in pursuit of power. Nami loves Giermo, but she is not the “ring” of power that Klashka is who can win him glory in his own right (sort of) and shed the status of trust fund baby. This dynamic parallels the triangle of power between Siegfried, Hagen and Hunding Gunderling who use marriage advance their place in society. Hagen is the illegitimate son on a dwarf who would envies Hunding’s lineage, Hunding vies for Haden fame of great deeds and clueless powerful Siegfried walk right into their plot for power and trades his common law goddess wife for Hunding’s sister thins thinking that Burnnhillde wouldn’t mind being traded like a sack of marbles to be the wife of Hunding. Seigfriend and Hunding only saw the power to be gained and did not factor in the wrath of a goddess who sacrifices herself mooting all of their plans, save Haden. Haden son of Fafner knew Love or lack of it would destroy the proud Gunderling familial, but his triumph stops there, for he is unable retrieve his neiblelung (dwarf) father’s ring from the fire for it can only be collected by it’s oriental owners: the Rhinemaidens. So a lot of people ended up miserable and dead over a hoop of gold which is a poor match for Love.
The Klashka the valkyrie goads Giermo that she is power and and Nami is love with a single statement of awe and sincerity: “How could you hurt such a beautiful creature?” Giermo finally understands that what has been missing in his life is about to leave forever and runs after his best friend.
In the Tiburon Cove where the wealthy with many enemies and compromises dwell in the designs of contented artists. The powerful men, in loveless marriages and no real security. Their fried-haired wives are 40% plastic and their children will spend their lives in and out of therapy. What they do have is the envy and respect of the poor, which is enough to lift their spirits. That is until the world realizes that in a house with out love, a life is hollow. For who can love a man who treats you like a commodity to be traded after your value drops after 40 or when you get fat?
So for sake of Love/Power imbalance, The Belvedere Betty’s positions are justified.
Ring of Power: Symbols of Love vs. Power in Wagner’s Ring Cycle and Us-A Jungian Feminist Perspective
By Jean Shinoda Bolen